Blessings From The Internets.

It’s been a while since I really paid attention to the searches that have led to my blog. I’m still beset by people seeking the Ark of the Covenant (seriously guys, I DO NOT have it. Ooh, look over there, a phoenix!) and those looking for the One Ring (Mordor, Mt Doom – ringing any bells, peeps? It’s been destroyed, the lands are safe. Return to your homes and live in peace.) but a few other interesting queries have come my way in addition to these staples.

The interwebs have sent me knowledge and wisdom seekers and sharers alike. They are asking hard-hitting questions. Or soft-edged questions. Either way, they’re asking and who am I not to answer? No-one, that’s who. They’re also sharing their own knowledge, which is great. Naturally, I’ll share it with you. I’m all about the giving.

Is Dick van Dyke in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Um, no. Although John Rhys-Davies is. Pretty cut-and-dry, this one. I can kind of see how you got these two confused, what with them both having three names. If you look at them next to each other though… Maybe you should think about seeing an optometrist. I’m just sayin’.

Does eating eels help back pain? Whose back – yours or the eel’s? It’s all about perspective. There are some pretty good medicines out there that I would suggest before diving into this particular alternative.

What shape should the force vs period-squared plot have? As much as I might like to pretend, I’m not MacGyver. I don’t speak physics, but since this question is related to circular and/or harmonic motion, I’m going to go ahead and say “curved”. You’re welcome.

Am I crazy or eccentric? Personally I’m of the opinion that if you have to ask – you’re crazy. You should think about rephrasing this question into a statement, like the 7 other people who found me. Use exclamation marks if you have to – “I’m not crazy!! I’m eccentric!” Who would argue? Not many, if any.

Sometimes though, there are places I cannot go:

How can you tell when a baby is engaged?
A) There’s not a barge-pole long enough for me to not touch this with… and B) HOW does this search link not once, but TWICE to this blog?!

Zeus in a business suit. One word. Pimpin’. How much would we all love to see this?  I know I would. It’s so awesome it’s nearly a tongue twister. Also, the the searcher who was looking for Zeus’s Greek name – it’s Zeus. Don’t make him visit you in his business suit.

Kids disrespect parents. Tell me about it! Although I’m slightly concerned about where this places me in the blogging demographic. Am I becoming one of “those” bloggers? I like to think that I’m not one of those bloggers who complains about how far society has fallen. Point taken, internet. No more complaining from me about the youth of today. Unless it’s really warranted…

Funny thanks you. The best of the bunch, this is a real honour. Funny itself; thanking me! Each day seems to be a step in the right direction. I’m still in touch with reality though people, don’t worry that you’ve lost me, my beloved readers!