As I mentioned in my last post, I’m starting a period of personal improvement that requires commitment to a multi-dimensional strategy. One element of this is decreasing the amount of time I spend sitting in front of a computer screen in my leisure time (since I do enough of that during work hours as it is!). I aim to achieve this by returning to a hobby I put away in my teenage years – miniature figure painting.
I’ll happily admit to being a late bloomer, behind the times, or any other term that refers to someone or something being slow or out of sync. Like any human beings, I’ve failed at least as often as I’ve succeeded – and like many human beings my successes have, for the most part, been less spectacular than I’d have liked. Oftentimes they could easily be mistaken for failures, given the circumstances. Luckily, I have been blessed with the capacity for wisdom, and this year in particular has been fruitful in that regard.
I want to celebrate one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met; a beautiful woman who constantly amazes me with her awesomeness. A woman who is just crazy enough to want to accept the responsibility of being married to me.
I’ve imagined that my return to blogging would trigger the comedic inspiration that got me through the majority of my early blogging years. I have found, however, that while I search out the spark that will reignite my lower frontal lobes, the more serious thoughts need to be explored and given breath. Inspiration is a fickle mistress, yet she must be obeyed no matter how or when she delivers her gift.
In the spirit of true random inspiration, today’s post comes to you courtesy of a haircut. Or, as I like to refer to it – an unfaircut.
Four years ago I took a break from blogging to focus on a few things. During that time, many other things happened, so I’m still working on the things I was going to focus on back then. Looking back, it was a wild ride. Good things, including meeting my amazing fiancéeLeah and finding a job that I actually enjoyed doing in a career that was never really my preferred one. Naturally, the cosmic balance must be maintained and so along with the good came the bad.
This may be the last blog I post here – the creativity and desire to express myself that I’ve enjoyed since the beginning of this writing adventure have waned. I can’t pinpoint the reason; it may be a loss of belief in myself, the medication, or it may just be time for change. Whatever it is, I just didn’t want my previous post to be the last. In case I don’t come back here for a long time, I want to keep the vibe positive.
So what have I been doing all year? I clearly haven’t been blogging. Let me fill you in…
For me, the biggest part is to stop over-thinking and over-analyzing. Just write it.
A couple of weeks ago my psychologist told me what I’d suspected for years – I have depression.
I’ve always been the kind of person who keeps his personal business to himself; and I have realised that this has led to misunderstandings when people take my shyness or nervousness as stand-offishness or arrogance. Trust me, I do not believe I’m too good to talk to you. Regularly, the opposite thought is going through my head.
Depression is an unusual thing. A friend of mine asked me to help her understand it when I talked to her about it last week. This post is an attempt (one that will probably become a bit erratic at times – apologies in advance) to expand on the confused mess of words I spat out on that occasion. I wasn’t prepared for someone to show patience as I exposed a person who is very different to the personality that is usually seen by most people I know.