It’s fun to do!

As promised, this week’s Dadvice is a more upbeat topic. Something that many adults forget as the pressures of life squeeze them. Something that is often dismissed as immature, or counterproductive when it is, in fact, extremely important to your overall well-being. The topic of the week is – FUN!

I can’t do it, dad!

Hello, you magnificent being. I hope you’re doing well as you read this, know that you are loved and you are doing a stellar job, no matter how you feel. Hopefully you’re feeling happy and content, but if you aren’t then please know that I am here for you if you want to talk, or if you need anything. Don’t suffer in silence; nothing can be improved if we don’t know it needs attention.

Today I wanted to take some time to continue a train of thought that’s been chugging through my head since last week. It’s a slightly heavy topic (as a lot of these posts are likely to be), but it’s important that you get this information so that you can figure out how or if it impacts your life. There’s so much to be said, you precious, amazing human. I promise that I’ll try to generously lace my words with humour wherever it’s appropriate or beneficial to do so.

I had a good day at day-care.

Day-care days are hard right now, and I know I’m over-thinking as I write this. How do I know? I know because you so regularly DO have a good day at day-care. Drop-offs are so heart-breaking though; you don’t want us to leave and we hate having to walk away from you as you wail to the heavens.

FACT: This post was sparked by an irrational thought.

FACT: The core message is valid.

Is this right, dad?

Today, this one’s about me, and while it is about me specifically, I know it’s also about many mums and dads out there. I’m not writing for sympathy or congratulations, I’m writing for you. Hopefully to give you greater confidence and a more informed perspective about people in general.

I am prone to thinking very deeply about things, especially when I care about them. I’ve been told that I overthink, and that may be true. It’s who I am, and I make no apology or compromise. It’s the core point of this post, and I write this knowing very well that I am overthinking your simple request for confirmation in the recent past.

Is that your dragon, dad?

You’ve yet to show more than a passing curiosity, and this may never be an actual topic of conversation for us. In case it is though, here’s my perspective on tattoos. I may even have more before we talk further about this, and there are some things that I want you to know in case it’s something you decide to do for yourself.

Guess what? My mum and dad love me so much.

Life is a big deal. Living is a big deal. There’s so much to learn about everything, and it’s an ongoing process for the entirety of your life. That’s why it’s important to stop every now and then, and take a little break to breathe, relax and re-focus. I’m going to be adding my own version to this series, and this is the first of them. So if you aren’t already, get comfy. This is a little relaxation and rejuvenation pep-talk from me to you.

One of the best ways to relax.

I’m doing important work.

Having seen me working from home, your desire to understand, explore and be included has led you to telling us that you want to “do work.” You’ve been excited to see the computer and keyboard, and you’ll even use a scientific calculator as a medium for “doing important work.” I applaud and am proud of your initiative, my dearest daughter. I know you have no deep understanding right now about working, and what is involved with having a job or a career. For now, this is another way of you engaging with me or playing on your own in a way that helps your mind grow.

In the future, we will have a more serious conversation about working, and potentially choosing a career. I hope that I remember what I write here during that discussion, because there are a few things I need you to know.

It’s in the f%#king bin, mum!

–TRIGGER WARNING: Bad Language–

Swearing happens. Let’s not kid ourselves, no matter how hard we might try to shield you from “naughty words”, you will hear them. From us, from friends and family, from strangers. There’s zero chance of you never hearing or using a swear-word; in fact, you’ve already managed a few! At the moment it’s been incredibly rare, and only because your repetition of one you’ve heard draws laughter. I expect that in due course you’ll begin to understand their context and you will want to at least experiment with their use in your own statements.

Butter wouldn’t melt …

I’m just a bit sad.

As your father, me saying that you have fantastic emotional intelligence is probably not really taken seriously by many people who hear it. Lots of people hear me singing your praises and, because I’m your father, likely dismiss it as a proud father overstating his only child’s capabilities and qualities. I don’t care though, because I know that the things I say are fundamental truths about you.

Stop – I do not like it!

From a young age you’ve known your boundaries. You’ve enforced them with strength and commitment since before you could speak, which is something that most children do instinctively. It’s a quality that I’m proud you possess, and it is something both your mother and I will support and encourage throughout your life. One of your earliest complex statements was “Stop – I do not like it!”. We’re not sure where it came from, but we’re forever grateful that you started saying it.

–DISCLAIMER– This post is not pointed at anyone. The intent of this series is to simply express my thoughts and beliefs to my daughter primarily. As a new father, I’ve put effort into discovering more about parenting and I’ve gained a lot of insight into how children’s brains develop. I’ve also come to understand that different parenting approaches will yield different outcomes, and I’ve chosen my preferred method.