Adventures & Insights

One man's adventures in the physical and intellectual worlds…

Hey, Aren’t You…

Tonight I’m taking the easy way out. I’ve been in “The Lab” (read my garage) for most of the weekend working on my costume and am settling down for the night after an eventful evening run that involved an incident of drunken violence (I wasn’t the drunk one, just to be clear…). I went ice skating on Friday night and was going to write about that until I realised that my creative juices aren’t flowing at the moment due to the fatigue that is now bearing its weight on me as I’ve stopped moving.

So instead I’m going to add to the interesting string of posts started (to my knowledge anyway) by the amazing Canadian Leanne Shirtliffe who extrapolated an idea of Clay Morgan’s about celebrity look-alikes. In turn, Leanne’s idea was amended to more accurately reflect one Reneé A. Schuls-Jacobson‘s visage (because really, it’s a great bit of fun but as much as we all respect and admire Leanne, it would seem a bit odd to be using pictures of her, wouldn’t it?) and now I’ve done something similar. Except with pictures of myself, not Reneé…

I can only really remember being compared to two “celebrities” in my life – Ben Affleck and The Joker. My aunt made the first comparison one Christmas when I returned home with my goatee and the latter comparison was made by most of the kids at school shortly after the release of the Michael Keaton/Jack Nicholson Batman back in ’89. Apparently, my smile was that wide.

And so, with a little prompting from my fellow bloggers, I headed over to and followed the link that would take a photograph of me and, with mystical prowess and scientific precision, reveal to me who I could pass for if I were to travel to Hollywood. I thought at first that I should use a photo of myself that oozed masculinity so I uploaded a photo I took a couple of years ago during Movember. I was a little concerned about being mistaken for a woman but there was no way this photo of me – complete with moustache and a light 3/4 beard.

I waited excitedly for the results. The internet processed the image and in the background, as the comparison calculations were done I wondered. Ryan Reynolds maybe? Hugh Jackman? Ewan Macgregor? Jake Gyllenhaal for sure. Surely the reason that he and I have never met is that, as per Back To The Future 2, the World would probably implode given that we’re pretty much the same person.*  Before long, the suspense was lifted and my celebrity look-alikes were revealed. Oh Happy Day! Wait… WAIT… What?!

There seems to be some kind of problem here...

I could have dealt with one woman being on the roster here, but a fifty percent ratio?! Pop that up to sixty-two if you consider that highly effeminate picture of Simon Le Bon. Well, at least my aunt was right.

Naturally, this comparison was unacceptible so a rummage through my photos was conducted and I produced an image taken on our holiday to Japan last year. Hopefully I’ve manned-up since that last Movember. Again the wait was undertaken and the calculations processed. I glared at the screen, telpathically voicing my disappointment in the previous response and as I wagged my finger at the screen I told the machine that if this result wasn’t a marked improvement then I would continue until I was satisfied.

The Cyberspace seemed cognisant of my demands and returned something that I could be proud of.

Much better - but Jennifer Love Hewitt? Really?

Interestingly – no matter what I do, I still look like Natalie Portman. Maybe there’s a reason you’ve never seen us next to each other…

Which celebrities have you been compared with?

*This particular statement was made under the complete guise of creative licence. I’m sure we would all be fine if Jake Gyllenhaal and I were in the same place at the same time.

10 responses to “Hey, Aren’t You…

  1. Blisstrack August 11, 2011 at 4:37 am

    So I did the Heritage page thing, and apparently if I lighten up my skin (Michael Jackson style I think) and dye my hair to become redhead… I would look like Emma Watson…. (don’t think so)

    • Christian Emmett August 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

      Really? All you have to do is change the colour of your skin and dye your hair? I’d have thought that the internet might have been able to match you with someone who wasn’t so obviously a contrast to you!

  2. thoughtsappear August 5, 2011 at 9:26 pm

    Leanne is Canadian? I’ve been reading her blog for months…how did I miss that?

    Since no one has ever said that I resemble any celebrities, I did the My Heritage thing, too. All of the people it said I looked like…I didn’t recognize any of their names.

  3. Jason Emmett August 1, 2011 at 10:50 am

    Well Little Wolf Brother, you do dance a little like Le Bon…just saying. I’m also glad to see that my pic of you scored you a higher masculinity rating!

  4. skippingstones August 1, 2011 at 1:29 am

    I was watching The Sorcerer’s Stone last night, which may be why I had a picture of you in my head, staring at your computer while muttering, “…not Slytherin…not Slytherin…”

  5. Renee Schuls-Jacobson July 31, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    So clearly the facial recognition picked up on facial hair. Poor Natalie. Maybe the program senses something we can’t. Fun right? For the record, you got a lot of dead people there on that list, eh?

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