This morning I had a dream that I was at an enormous AC/DC tribute band audition. Hundreds of AC/DC tribute bands had gathered at a massive showground/festival ground (imagine Woodstock, Big Day Out, Reading Festival, etc) and they were auditioning for the group members who were missing from their band.
Thinking back now, I wonder why my dream didn’t simply have these bands talk to each other and form complete bands with the members of other bands that were already there. Some bands were auditioning drummers and other bands already had drummers, so why didn’t the drummer from one band just go to another band and then the other band just had to either audition for whatever they needed AND a drummer, or they could disband and join other tribute bands.
Anyway. I flicked through a couple of blogs this morning (namely Marina Sleeps’s and EduClaytion) and it seems that my subconscious mind was paying more attention than I originally thought, joining dots over the past couple of days that I never saw because I’ve had an idea that could just turn into a VERY profitable business.
My business idea is “Identity Borrowing”.
Notice I didn’t say theft. There’s a very specific reason for that; I don’t intend to steal people’s identities for any illegal purposes. I have only the most honourable of intentions.
If you don't want to - we can!
I’m no kind of businessman, so I have no idea how to get this thing off the ground. But I am an ideas man and an action man so I’m pretty sure that I can get this done.
I think I’ll set up a business to borrow people’s identities so that someone who isn’t that person can do all the things that the owner of the identity wants to do. Legal, good things only of course.
That brief doesn’t make much sense, so allow me to elaborate.
Say there are some people out there who would like to write a book if they knew they couldn’t fail (right, Clay?). Those people can come to my organisation and we could write the book for them. Granting them unparalleled success in their life, along with fame, profit and all that goes with it.
It could be anything – we could go skydiving for people who have bad hearts or are afraid of heights. We could travel for agoraphobics. My vision for this business is to provide people with the opportunity to be able to do the things that they’ve always wanted to do but have been too scared to do themselves.
I know you’re all saying “Christian, you’ve outdone yourself here. This is one of the best ideas that have ever been had. Ever.” I hear you, but there are a few things we need to consider.
This idea is so fantastic that I’m not sure why no-one’s gotten onto it already. Although I can think of a couple of things.
Firstly there’s the whole “he/she isn’t me” aspect to consider. While my organisation works with the greater good as its top priority, I can see that some people will not agree with the overarching benevolence of our actions. We will be pasing their identity back to our customer when we’re finished doing what they want us to do and while some people will never accept that we were them, just look at how easy it is to be someone else for the purposes of credit card fraud. I think we’re on a better footing than those guys.
Secondly there’s the more cosmic consideration. Some naysayers will raise the issue that the “real” John or Jane Smith hasn’t actually written their book/snowboarded on an avalanche/reported for a major news network/etc and so they will always be living a lie and will suffer the cosmic consequences of their inaction.
To this I respond: if the person (who our staff have actually been, by the way) just takes the appropriate steps to balance their Karma (say by returning shopping carts/trolleys to the supermarket) then everything is fine!
I’m sure that there will be other points raised to counter this most brilliant business idea but for now – in order to truly justify the continuance of development of this proposal, I would like to ask you all:
If you had the opportunity for someone else to be you and do something you’ve always wanted – for which YOU would get any and all associated credit, riches, fame, etc – would you take it or would you instead work on getting there yourself?
I think I also should start putting a Copyright notice in this blog somewhere, do you agree?