Adventures & Insights

One man's adventures in the physical and intellectual worlds…

Candy Doesn’t Grow On Trees

I hope you all had a great weekend, welcome to Monday!

Last week I gave myself a theme which helped me out a bit with my posts. I think it went pretty well so I’m going to incorporate it into some of my future posts. Probably not this week though; I expect that this week’s posts will be of an even more random nature than usual. We’ll see.

Life can be complicated. Information and emotions can conflict at times and trust can be misplaced. Dodging life’s bullets while searching for its treasures is certainly no mean feat. We find ourselves in all sorts of situations that put us to the test and sometimes, learning is a painful experience.

I’ve always had a good relationship with my brother and sister. They’ve both been valuable allies in the developmental war and I would be in a very different place today if it wasn’t for them. My sister has always been there to provide wonderful moral support and my brother has always provided his own unique brand of guidance. As my older sibling, I have sought his advice regularly and he has always been willing to teach me and grant me strength through diversity.

On no particular day when we were toddlers, my brother and I were playing in the yard. Feeling very magnanimous, my brother decided that today was life lesson day. Drawing me out into the garden, he began telling me about a wonderful discovery he had made recently.

Naturally, I was intrigued. My brother was quite knowledgeable and being almost two years my senior, he was an authority on absolutely everything. I followed him into the garden eagerly, my curiosity growing with every golden word that flowed from his lips.

We approached a plant and my brother slowed, pointing it out specifically and continuing with his enthralling dialogue. If what he was saying was true (and I had little reason to doubt him) – this particular plant grew candy! CANDY people. Willy Wonka would have clapped his hands and danced with delight if he had known about this and here it was, growing in OUR backyard!

I looked at the little fruit of apparent deliciousness that grew before my very eyes and marveled at it for moments, imagining how sweet it would be and about the wild sugar rush that would consume me as a result.

Something just didn’t seem right though. A niggling part of my brain suggested that I remain dubious and confirm the authenticity of my brother’s claim before consuming this tasty treat…

Turning back to my brother I suggested that we both eat from the vine and enjoy these candies of nature together. My brother shook his head simply. He had had some yesterday and besides, he wasn’t particularly hungry right now anyway.

With only a little further encouragement I decided to ignore the voice in my head. He was my brother after all; he wouldn’t knowingly put me in any danger. I reached out and plucked one of the smooth little red fruits from the vine and held it in front of me. If I’d been paying closer attention I might have seen the small light of evil glee that suddenly sparkled in my brother’s eye as he urged me to take a bite. My teeth closed around the morsel and I began to chew.

This is NOT candy.

Within one second my mouth was burning. Within two my eyes went into tear production overdrive. By the time the third second had reached existence I was certain that my jaw was melting off my face. I don’t even know if I started to scream; the pain was utterly maddening!

I’m only assuming the rest since I couldn’t see through my tearing eyes and I was more focussed on my melting face, but having gleaned enough enjoyment from the situation my brother brought me water with which to douse the fire that was my entire head. I’ve recovered well enough, thank you for your concern.

Lessons Learned:

  1. Candy does NOT grow in the wild;
  2. Red really IS nature’s warning sign;
  3. Trust yourself, even when your source of information is known and trusted;
  4. My older brother really does have my best interests at heart. Without him teaching me this, I could have made a real fool of myself at high school or even whilst on a date. What a lifesaver.

7 responses to “Candy Doesn’t Grow On Trees

  1. Pingback: Happy Birthday, Wolf Brother. « Adventures and Insights

  2. partialview November 2, 2010 at 12:43 am

    😀 Your brother does have great teaching skills. So what they come with a little fun at your expense. I am sure you won’t forget the lessons in a hurry. Enjoy!

    • OpentoAdventure November 2, 2010 at 8:16 am

      He has always known exactly how to best teach each individual. As it goes, I need to learn quite physically and my brother has always known that. I have always remembered his lessons.

      Thanks for reading! 🙂

  3. Will October 25, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Re: point 2.
    I am reminded of a quote though i cannot source it right now.
    “The gods do not put red hair on a man as a warning of nothing.”
    Or as I put it.
    Dont #% with red heads.!!!

  4. ragrobyn October 25, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    I am thankful (as I am sure your mother is) that your brother never succeeded in killing you. To celebrate that fact, I think you should come to Canada in June where I will show you with proof that candy does indeed grow in the wild. You may not get a chance to sample these tiny red gems, no bigger then your pinky fingernail, because I will have wrestled every bear within a 100 miles so I could gobble them up myself. The sweetest candies are found on the banks of the Fraser River at Mnt Robson provincial park. Wild strawberries are natures candy 🙂

    • OpentoAdventure October 25, 2010 at 2:50 pm

      There was never any fear of that, my brother’s always been an incredibly intelligent guy and I’m sure he’d considered every possible outcome beforehand. His method was firm, but the lessons were invaluable. 🙂

      I have always wanted to visit Canada, so that WILL be happening at some point in the near future! I’ll warm up my bear-wrangling skills and will give you a shout when I’m in the neighbourhood!

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