I'm pretty sure Baby Jesus is crying right now.
The English language is under seige my friends, rally to me and fight back with all your might! The tide is against us, but we will overcome!
“Techlology” is killing the English language. You know what I’m referring to. What began as a mild mutation of English has distorted almost exponentially into the monstrosity that now assaults so many eyes and ears.
There’s always a time for evolution. Throughout the ages the English language has been no exception. Inventions, advancements, discoveries, products and ideas change the way people speak and communicate. The advent of the mobile phone brought with it the SMS (Short Message Service) which was seen as a wonder by many. The internet brought with it instant messaging applications and before too long words and even entire phrases found themselves reduced to three or four letters at a time.
Then we got blindsided. I don’t even know if Google can help me support this, it happened so quickly. It would be understandable if things followed the straightforward and logical process of change. But this just came out of nowhere and doesn’t seem to make any sense at all!
Some of it does, and I don’t really have an issue with that. I even use some of the language myself (given my recent admission about my online life you can surely grant me some understanding) and I can see its usefulness. There are, however, atrocities being committed on an hourly basis and I for one can’t take it anymore!
Lolcats has an awful lot to answer for. Sure, the concept is pretty good. Cats in funny photos with humourous captions that bring a giggle to everyone’s day. It’s certainly become popular on “teh intarwebz”. And there, ladies and gentlemen; between those quotation marks is crystal-clear, irrefutable proof that it is also the prime suspect in the murder of the English language.
Acronyms, while somewhat annoying and sometimes confusing are a part of life. They’re not ruining words, just simplifying sentences. LOL, BRB, LMAO, FTW, GTG (or G2G), IMHO and hundreds of others have become embedded in social networking, giving rise to the “netspeak” age. That I can live with. I can understand people’s attraction to this easier method of communication. Sure, shorten a word by removing letters and/or word parts. Most ppl can still read ur txt when u remove letters. (That was quite painful for me by the way, I think it took me longer to write that one sentence than it did to write the entire post so far.)
Seriously though people. Please help me out here. I’m trying my best to be tolerant and I want to understand, really I do. But it’s making my eyes bleed and my very soul cringe. Why must you spell words incorrectly by replacing correct letters with incorrect ones or even making regular short words longer?! Halp meh owt hear, iz dis maykin me kewl? Liek, srsly?!!11ONE!
I can only figure this is something the cool kids do. If that is indeed the case, I’m very happy to remain uncool. I don’t support netspeak at all and I’m pretty sure it makes Baby Jesus cry.