Adventures & Insights

One man's adventures in the physical and intellectual worlds…

Lending Cupid a Hand

You might find this hard to believe, but I know a thing or two about romance.

At high school I was part of a small but very effective team of Love Doctors – not by choice but by necessity. My friends were suffering misread signals and lamenting lost opportunities; I could not stand by and do nothing to help. So I donned my emotional scrubs and got to work. While we were unable to save everyone, we had some very successful outcomes during the life of our practice. This post may mark the beginning of a semi-regular revival of that practice.

Of course, my goal here is not to bring specific people together. Times have changed since the days of hypercolour shirts, “When Harry Met Sally“, Rick Astley and my teen hormones. However, the premise is the same: Sometimes, Cupid needs a bit of a hand.

Life and love are intertwined, and over the years I have learned that the approach to love is the same as the approach to life. The most important thing to remember, no matter what your current situation is, is that you have to do it your way. That’s the only way it will work. In this Love Doctor’s professional opinion, this single factor is possibly the biggest hurdle to overcome on the way to something wonderful.

Regardless of the kind of person you are looking for, never lose sight of the person you are. No matter who comes and goes in your life, you will be there 24/7. While love demands a certain level of compromise, it does not ever call for total surrender. If you’re a quiet, reserved person, don’t try to be outrageous to impress someone you like. If you’re an outgoing, adventurous spirit, don’t cage yourself to win the heart of another. Neither of you will get anything out of that.

It may not seem like it, but when you are comfortable with yourself, the right people notice. I’m not saying “Take a sabbatical/sojourn and travel around the World in order to discover who you REALLY are.”  (incidentally though, feel free to do that at any time if it’s something you want to do. Just don’t expect it to lead directly to love, that’s all I’m saying.) I’m pretty sure that all my friends and readers have a very solid idea about who they are. Which is a great place to start. I can only reflect on myself and what I figure out about others when offering encouragement. And my advice at this early, detail-bereft point is simply “Know that you have greatness within you.”

You don’t have to take any giant steps or commit yourself to something that you will not be able to maintain. Be yourself, know your strengths and appreciate your greatness. That’s all. Your intellect, compassion, humour, beauty, openness, honesty, energy, shyness, curiosity, introversion and all the other wonderful things about you will be matched accordingly in someone else. If you’re looking for an equal you will find one. Not necessarily where you expect it either.

Love comes to us all in different ways and at different times. All we have to do is stay open to it. Don’t think you have to be a particular way to attract romance. You’re probably unaware of the fact that you’ve already captured the heart of someone who is just too shy to let you know.

Of course, there’s more to love than this single aspect. If you want to hear more about this man’s opinion on the subject, just let me know. Otherwise, I’ll go back to writing Dr Seuss and recounting the silly things that have happened in my life. I might even tell you about the time alcohol turned me into a velociraptor!

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2 responses to “Lending Cupid a Hand

  1. Bindy October 8, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    What’s a Velociraptor?

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