Adventures & Insights

One man's adventures in the physical and intellectual worlds…

Double Shift Delirium

The abrupt shout of my name, accompanied by the solid slap of a hand on my desk snapped me concussively out of my slumber. I hadn’t even realised that I’d fallen asleep at my desk. With adrenalin still pumping through my veins I turned sharply towards the origin of the shock.

“What is it?!” I asked angrily, finding my bearings and turning to face the man who had woken me. My Boss.

“Oh, nothing,” he replied sarcastically. “You’ve just been asleep at your desk for the last 15 minutes. Care to explain?”

Perplexed by his response, I stood and used my height against him as I recounted what had just happened.

“I’ve just finished a 10-hour shift, performing possibly the single most insane task you’ve ever asked me to complete – and, might I add, you’ve asked me to do innumerable ridiculous things over the years! You were standing right there the whole time, as I single-handedly cleaned up the disasterous mess you created! Seriously, how can you expect to run a successful support agency without the proper equipment and information?!”

His blank expression only served to fuel the raging fire in my belly.

“You don’t remember relaxing there while I completely reviewed, corrected, recompiled and re-bound those manuals? The ones that were so effectively kept in simple manilla folders with nothing but file fasteners holding everything together? Written on butcher’s paper which; by the way, was folded in such a way that no matter which page you opened to, all you saw was the back of the page? Making it look like the book was completely empty!”

I stopped to breathe, still tired after completing such an arduous activity. Without even letting him get a word in, I continued my tirade.

“And for whatever reason, you needed them to have three holes punched so they could be bound, but guess what? We don’t HAVE  ANY THREE-HOLE PUNCHES! So, using ingenuity that would make MacGyver proud, I managed to fashion the required punch from two two-hole punches. After overcoming the complete incompetence of others, I have once again saved you from professional disgrace. You are welcome. I’m going back to sleep.”

** Note: This didn’t actually happen. Well, it did and it didn’t. Lately I’ve been waking up at 5am. My alarm is not set for 5am so I close my eyes again and try to get a little more sleep before I have to get up and head to work.

In the hour or so that passes between 5am and alarm-time I had the dream that I’ve dramatised for entertainment purposes. It made me want to walk into my office today and just go to sleep at my desk, having already completed a 10 hour shift… In my dreams.

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5 responses to “Double Shift Delirium

  1. bearyweather September 30, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Telling someone what we really think at work is the dream of many people … your tale was greatly entertaining. I have been in my own over worked delirium that has me falling asleep in a chair correcting papers at night and then awake early every morning whether I have to be or not .. it is annoying.

  2. Tasha September 29, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Im totally addicted to your blog! You had me in tears this one!

    I been so tired at work lately sleeping under my desk has been a huge thought, although abusing my boss wouldn’t be a option … I prefer to just cry … it makes people uncomfy! LOL

    • OpentoAdventure September 29, 2010 at 9:40 pm

      I’m very glad to hear that Tasha! 🙂 It means a lot ot me to have great friends like you reading, I’ll keep trying to get you in trouble at the office with humorous anecdotes or musings!

  3. ragrobyn September 29, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    So you win the double dog dare 😉

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