My imagination is a crazy beast. It is an endless source of entertainment to me and, I like to think, to my friends. Fuelled by real life experiences, movies, books, comics, and my own special brand of crazy, my brain has become a melting pot for all sorts of logical and highly illogical (I prefer the term “fantastic” myself…) situations, conclusions, conjectures and thoughts. Here’s a snippet of some of the more zany things that live in my mind.
Irrational fears is not the exact phrase I’d use to describe what follows. I prefer to list them as eccentric nervous quirks. I thank my overactive imagination, one particular phrase and all the horror and sci-fi movies I’ve watched over the years for these. Some of the action/adventure movies I’ve seen are also responsible, but I don’t hold it against them.
Cracks in the floor ARE signs that the earth will crumble beneath your feet if you put a foot wrong.
My logical brain usually overrules this one, but when you’ve seen as many treasure-hunting movies and read as many books of the same theme as I have over the years, you develop an instinct to stay off the cracks just in case. I don’t know about you, but I for one don’t want to plummet to my death when a gaping chasm opens underfoot after stepping on a crack in the footpath. This also stems from that old adage/superstition “Step on a crack and break your Mother’s back.” Even though I know it’s extremely unlikely impossible, it’s not a chance I’m ready to take.
Elevators want to kill me.
Sometimes when I get out of an elevator, I have a flash of panic. Unfounded certainly, but I imagine the elevator cable suddenly snapping and of me being cut in half by the falling lift. It doesn’t happen every time, but it’s fairly regular. The thought of the lift falling I mean, not the actual cable snapping and consequent box of death plummeting down the well. I attribute this fear to all the movies I’ve seen where people have been trapped in a lift and managed to get the doors halfway open. There’s always someone who gets either caught in the doors or just takes too long getting all the way out while the lift is starting to fall and as a result, they’re victims of one of the most uncomfortable deaths in cinema.
Creatures that want to eat us exist in the spaces we can’t see.
I’ve taken the ‘Schrödinger’s Cat’ paradox to a whole new level. It seems that my subconscious likes to mix science, fantasy and reality together (who am I kidding, my conscious likes to do it as well), making life forever interesting for me. Having an overactive imagination is always a plus. Combining that with the many horror/sci-fi movies I’ve seen that involve packs of ravenous, people-eating aliens, fish, bees, spiders, ants, uni-clams, etc crashing out of little dark and hidden places has led me to develop a very specific reflex. My workplace bathroom is the place where this manifests itself. I pass through two doors to get in and whenever I’m heading out of that bathroom, I have to be through the second door and onto the carpet outside before the first door has closed. Otherwise, the creatures that exist where we can’t see will be able to chase me down and they will eat me!
I know I’m not the only one who has these kinds of thoughts. Aren’t I? Am I? Surely there are others like me who might not be thinking exactly the same thing, but still jump quickly into bed sometimes for fear of the evil monster that lurks under the bed.
Oh and one last thing – don’t use Google Images at work when your search criteria is simply the word “crack”. I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming.