As I was getting ready to visit my brother last night I received a random phone call from a telemarketer. that turned into one of the most surreal conversations that I have ever had in my life to date. What started as an innocent offer to test the purity of my drinking water became a mildly concerning experience receiving the unsolicited judgement of a complete stranger. It went a little like this:
Telemarketer: “Oh, hello, this is <identity removed for her own protection>. How are you this evening?”
Me: “I’m fine thanks, how are you?” (I’m a nice, friendly guy)
Telemarketer: “Oh, you must not be the householder.”
Me: “Actually, I am.”
Telemarketer: “Really? Most householders never ask me how I am. I’m fine thank you.”
Me: “Well that’s good to hear. What can I do for you?”
Telemarketer: “I’m calling to ask if you would like the purity of your drinking water tested. We have a water technician in your area and are offering a free test of your filtered water, complete with a report about the drinkability of your tap water. Will you be home tomorrow at around 6:00pm?”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t be home. I’ll be at the gym.”
Telemarketer: “Really? Ok, how about next week? We have technicians who can do the tests available between 9:00am and 6:00pm, we can fit you in any day.”
Me: “Actually, I’m not really interested, thank you anyway. Besides, I work during the day and I’ll be going to the gym after work, so I don’t expect to be home any time before 7:30.”
Telemarketer: “Oh, the gym? You must be single. No kids huh?”
Me: “Um, yeah, I’m currently single. But I don’t think it would make a difference if I was married with kids. I’m sure I could still manage to fit in an hour at the gym each day.”
Telemarketer: “Do you go to the gym to pick up girls?”
Me: “Actually no, I go to work out.”
Telemarketer: “Is it a men-only gym?”
Me: “Hmmm, I don’t know of a single men-only gym in existence. This one is co-ed.”
Telemarketer: “You go to pick up girls.”
Me: “Well thank you for calling, I’m still not interested in having my water tested. Have a good night ok?”
Telemarketer: “Thank you, I will. Have a good night.”
Commando Baby is invading your life!!
I don’t mean any disrespect to parents or telemarketers but having been engaged to a woman who had a son I KNOW I can still manage to get to the gym. Sure, the more children a family has, the greater the demand for looking after them. I’m still sure that a family could work something out. I know for sure that I will make sure that my wife has time to do things she wants to do on her own.
I’d like to be a father one day. I wouldn’t like to be a telemarketer ever.